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News: Jimmy Fallon SUCKS

Well, this isn’t exactly news, because he’s sucked forever.

I listen to a lot of online radio at work. It provides a free variety of music. In fact the 90s alternative station is just like my own iTunes library, so I love it. But it is too high to play with everyone in the office, so I also turn to Comedy which has no buffering. I enjoy the station, makes me laugh, distracts me from the monotony of my job.

Today they had Jimmy Fallon singing cover songs about troll dolls. For 10 fucking minutes. It just kept going on. And at no point was it funny. Hell, if you listen closely, none of the people laughing are men: they are all 13 year old girls. Probably because they are so impressed with his ability to play simple cover songs with his guitar. This of course will continue into college and explain why so many douche bags get lucky just by having a guitar. 10 fucking minutes of this shit. And this just reminded me of his overall shitiness. I don’t think anyone saw that baseball movie of his, and thank god, because it meant he hasn’t been in any for sometime. He sucked on weekend update. If it wasn’t for the nerdy-milftastic Tina Fey I don’t think anyone would have watched.

Anyways, thats my rant for the moment. It just really pissed me off having to listen to that garbage. At least I didn’t have to look at him stare into the camera with his “bed hair” that he clearly spent more time on than his comedy.

-Mike

Addendum: It turns out I was wrong about not having to look at that piece of shit Fallon. As it would seem, Conan O’Brien, lanky comedy god, will be replacing Jay Leno as the Tonight Show Host. This is good because it means we get Conan earlier, although it does mean he is competing with Colbert. Ready for the bad news? That no-talent asshat Jimmy Fallon will be replacing Conan in the Late Night Show. What fucktard executives came up with that idea? “Hey, we need someone to replace Conan, but we need someone who can’t be funnier than him, or funny at all. So who is the biggest waste of space currently not occupying a television show or doing movies? I know, Jimmy Fallon!” Great, NBC will air Jimmy giggling like a moron for an hour. I just hope he gets attacked by an animal and dies. At the very least, it means more oxygen for the rest of us.

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One Response to “News: Jimmy Fallon SUCKS”

  1. The only way that Late Night will be funny now is if they replace the monologue at the beginning of every show with a new sketch: “Fallon gets his face smashed in with a brick.” Then they could just loop the first 10min. of the show for the remainder of the time slot. I guarantee instant ratings success!


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